Depression Food

Above: mmm, mmm. Home Cheese. Goes well on bread and crackers.

As I was biting into a piece of bread the other day when my gag reflux suddenly kicked me in the gut and I dropped my meal on the plate, staring in horror. A slice of white bread, cut freshly from a loaf, had been smothered in butter, then covered in another layer of mayonnaise, topped with a slice of cheese and splattered with the logical choice of garnish: ketchup. 

"What the hell am I eating?" I said aloud to an empty room.

Sometimes in Second World countries like Ukraine, the foreigner encounters what my roommate has deemed "Depression Food." In places like Ukraine, and in First World countries in the midst of depressions, people often use everyday, sometimes strange, household condiments to add flavor to boring, repetitive meals. I never met my great grandfather, but I'll never forget the stories of ketchup in his cereal. 

Most cultures, if you search hard enough, have found ways to make the food around them into tasty, often original and delicious, dishes. But when you are eating potatoes for 50th night in a row(not uncommon here), and onions just are not doing it for you, the ketchup and mayo look pretty good.

The picture above shows something I was, literally, just eating minutes ago. This "Home Cheese" is a fat-free, dry cottage cheese variant with a very unique taste. It's a bit peculiar and bland by itself, but one quickly develops a taste for it. Here I added carrot and horseradish shavings, mayo, sour cream, hot sauce, salt, white and green onion and dill. I usually throw in a pickle, too. 

Every now and then my American sensibilities rush back to rescue my palette, and I feel as if I'm going to wretch as I pop an oily, yogurt-covered grape leaf in my mouth. But then I bite into the olive and the juices explode over my tongue and I go right back to what I was doing before: enjoying myself.